Oxfordshire

In the intervening years I had dipped in and out of the Speedsters and Spyders club hoping to get the first look whenever anything was advertised as this was always the preferential access route to Speedsters.  How things have changed.  I attended a number of shows and had a look at the L&B Speedster with Willy Lambrechts. I had built up an extensive collection of models, including 3 of the Kyosho 1/18 in red, silver, and black. I'd seen them in Highlander, Doc Hollywood and Top Gun. Bringing this together was the fairly recent purchase of the TSM 1/12 Top Gun Speedster. (A plastic copy of a plastic copy!) I've got the books as well, including Dr Michael Thiriars book. This is a real gem as it's a love story to the 356. A wonderful piece of writing. Having rejoined the Speedsters and Syders club and looking seriously for a car, I was always slightly aggrieved that they seemed to be snapped up by certain commercial organisations to punt on for a quick profit. I even emailed a private sale with regards to a viewing, but it was sold really quickly. This was a club member's car so there is real merit to joining the club. That had, however, been bought to be sold on. On the plus side, you get to see what you like, what you would change etc - nothing quite came close to OFB.

Within a couple of weeks of rejoining the club for the latest time and making a concerted effort to find a wagon, I was still looking on the web and, lo and behold, OFB 435 reappeared for sale on Car and Classic. One of my opening lines in rejoining the club was wondering where OFB 435 had disappeared to when she was sold in 2013. This is where things got exciting, very quickly. I quickly emailed the advertiser but he wouldn’t shift on price. I gave him a considered offer and justified my thought process which led to an enjoyable dialogue. He assured me that if I saw the car I would buy it.  We won’t mention cost other than to say that it was being advertised for more than it went for 10 years ago and I got it with a little knocked off.

Despite being a Porsche fan, the current owner was not in the Speedsters and Spyders club so the car had disappeared. He did some TIPEC events and found people quite receptive to the car. I took a trip out to Stansted and had a test drive and chat with the owner. This previous owner was a true Porschephile, so I asked him why he had it. It was simple, he knew that he was never going to have a real one, so he bought what he considered the next best thing. In comparison, I said that I couldn't afford an original 1954 Stratocaster, so I've got one of the Japanese reissues. When I paid the deposit, he showed me a rack of Stratocasters, one of which was a Japanese E Series - very much a kindred spirit and nice guy to boot.  His new 911 was in the stable next to 'Polly Plastic Porsche'. He wanted a 1970s 911 Targa so was selling the Speedster to fund that. On the plus side, little red Polly had a Porsche fans seal of approval and he said that he was welcomed with it at the TIPEC events. It's not a Porsche, it's a Chesil with Porsche badging. His gut feel was that Porsche fans share his opinion that real ones are few and far between, so they are a bit more tolerant of decent 'tributes'. The deal was done, I transferred the deposit there and then, some money to settle the balance and a week later, Polly arrived at her new home with me via a low loader. My neighbour spotted it coming the other way along the M4 so had something to say when he got home.  What had I done!?

The recurring comment from the Facebook members seems to be that life is too short. I suppose that Polly is ushering in a mid-life crisis. The honest thought on this is that it will inevitably cause a load of problems. It is a factory built but is also still a kit car, so it will be an 'adventure.' Strange that an impulse purchase should take over 20 years. I'm guessing it was meant to be, as she’s clearly the one for me. Most of these thoughts were published in a kit car mag as a result of attending the Malvern Show. They did a feature on this story and took some nice photos. My guess is that it hasn't been seen that much.

I make no apologies for naming my cars. There are those who do and those who are mature and sensible! Polly should be spelled with a silent 'H'. It seems most appropriate. Everybody knows that buying an old car is a folly. Or to be grammatically correct, folly (pholly). A truly foolish act! It also lends itself to Polly Plastic Porsche, Pretty Polly. Polly Esther Porsche. Polly Porker, because you know that she'll be a pig at times.

Again, the facts of it are: she’s noisy (rattly and sounds like a bag of nails in an asthmatic spin drier), cold, uncomfortable, vague with the brakes, and understeers like a pig. The skinny tyres are just awful. Proper chrome flakes, rusts and requires constant care. (That makes you really appreciate this modern plastic chrome, it's amazing!) The windows are a pain in the backside as they don't open. (This caught me out when trying to hand in a security pass and I can hear the chorus of 'Chesil do wind up windows'). My guess is that she leaks so I don’t take her out in the wet. Anything metal is pretty much biscuit tin thickness so rust is a concern. There's always a little bit of oil weeping from somewhere -usually rocker covers, even when you replace the cork gaskets. The more expensive rubber gaskets have improved this. She has to be driven. Not like a hoodlum, but you have to work, concentrate and engage with her. Engine braking is a necessity. On long drives (and despite a large steering wheel) your shoulders start to ache. Visibility isn’t good as your four corners could be anywhere. Fortunately, I'm short, but taller people suffer in the passenger seat. She's a 1800cc twin port with 4 gears so has bags of torque and will do 70mph. I don't like doing this as I don't wholly trust the stopping power and there’s no point really. 50-60mph is fine. She's kind of wonderful.

If you want soft top motoring that is comfortable, precise and easy, get something else. Unless you're going to move away from VW Mechanicals, you will not have a performance car. You need to slow down, enjoy, kick back and relax. Performance comes with a Boxster, S2000, BMW or the obligatory MX-5. I've had Charlie (Mk 1 Eunos) and Mitzy (Mk2.5). Driving the A5 through North Wales, Horseshoe Pass or Cheddar Gorge with the roof off is magical. Can't wait to do this with my wheezy Princess Polly. (Albeit slower and more uncomfortably if she can manage to make it that far, and it's dry.)